Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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