Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
