Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
