The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Acid is not a monday night drug
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
