I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
