real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
