Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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