Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
