omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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