You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want her autograph on my taint
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
