Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
