yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
