somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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