Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
