Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix