Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.