I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.