I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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