Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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