I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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