would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
