you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
