It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
