Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
