Jerry, you need to find god
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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