I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
