We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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