OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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