What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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