butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
