Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
