Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
