I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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