I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
