"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
