forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i was born a porn star she said
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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