i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Randomize
