so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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