don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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