So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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