You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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