At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heâ€™s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.