I hate all girls vehemently.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
