the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
cat food counts as protein by the way
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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