Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
