My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No I am not eating basil off your cock
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
