at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
