it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize