I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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