A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
