What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
