It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
