I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
