My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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