this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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