no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
