if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
