I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
