when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
