Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The adults are the big ones right?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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