just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
