i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize