Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
