There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
