I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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