my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i've created a new STD.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
